Soph's School of the Mad: Week Five

I don't want you to think that homeschooling is all bad. I get to spend more time with my children than I think I ever have, and although sometimes I want to THROTTLE THEM, it is mostly fairly rewarding. I love to see what they create: Jim did this cherry blossom picture on Monday using Q-tips and poster paint:

And we need the routine. We didn't get any school work sent through for this week until 10am on Monday. We were like WRAITHS, aimlessly wandering the house, wondering what to do while we waited. 

Monday ended up being generally a day of stress. Alex used his poo to decorate the bathroom because AUTISM IS A BLESSING, and then had a tyrannical meltdown because he was told to have a bath to rid him of the stench of poo. He did not want a bath, and kept screaming "NO MUMMY, DON'T TOUCH ME, NAUGHTY MUMMY". A blessing, I tell thee.

In the evening, Jack complained of belly ache. In the time-honoured fashion of mothers everywhere, I told him to have a poo and go to sleep. Wailing and screaming ensued. I did the rebound test for appendicitis and the poor kid screamed his head off, so I contacted out of hours, and thankfully, they called me back before I had an aneurysm. After some discussion, the doctor decreed that Jack's probably pulled a muscle going to the loo, but to call back if he got worse. Jack perked up quite a bit after this, especially since the doctor told him to drink some warm milk. My heart rate soared to the heavens and took some time to return to earth.

Anyway, four day week, whatever that means at this point. I only know what day it is because of Jack's little timetable, I have no idea of the DATE, and they MOVED the bank holiday, the bastards. Short week meant three days of getting some work done, so we could do VE day work on Thursday and then STOP.

BUT FIRST, MOAR KITKATS. Yes, another tasting session: green tea, some sort of custard thing, and sakura mochi. The children made tasting notes ("SMELLS OF LEAVES, WHY DOES IT SMELL OF LEAVES???") and rated the green tea one as best. 

Then we put Jack in a box because why the hell not?

Jack also designed this salad. Needless to say, he's unlikely to become a chef any time soon with his FISH SALAD.

On Wednesday, Tom aged up yet another year. The fourth birthday in our house since this debacle started - can we make it a full house in July? We made him a cake, and thankfully, it was not a complete disaster. No ants! No paper!

On Thursday, I taught both boys about VE Day. I'm not jingoistic: war is shit. The second world war traumatised the nation, and killed almost half a million British people. I think celebrating VE day is fine, as long as you understand that it's a celebration of the end of war, not the victorious British. There is no glory, only relief and resolution.

So I made the kids sad by telling them the horrors of war for children; blackouts, rationing, no sweets, bombing and air raid shelters. We made a family tree and looked at what their great-grandfathers did in the war (farmer, ambulance driver, submariner, child!). The school suggested the children ask their grandparents what they did in the war. Not sure my 59 year old dad would appreciate such a line of questioning.

I played them an air raid siren, which finished Jim off, and then we had to wait half an hour for him to calm down.

Jim and Jack both did some writing about VE day, including a really good newspaper frontpage by Jack. And Jim, always game for a video, did this masterpiece:


NO NAZIS!

Alex has spent the week thus:

So much work!

And that's been our week. Probably the worst in terms of getting anything done, and I'm not sure why. Maybe it's the weird four day week, maybe it's lockdown fatigue, maybe I'm just a bad mother this week, I dunno. I hope your long weekend is a joy, despite all this, and next week is better.

Stay in, stay well.