Soph's School of the Mad: Week Two

So corona is a shit because, even in mild cases, you think you're getting better and then! lo! You can't breathe again.

But I am now, finally, better, and we can soon leave quarantine. It's also my birthday.

Nobody could be arsed on Monday. Alex threw a meltdown enough to shake the world, because I did not make his breakfast fast enough. "I HATE YOU, I NOT WANT TO BE A GOOD BOY, I WANT TO BE A BAD BOY! I NOT WANT TO CALM DOWN, I WANT TO CALM UP" etc. etc. For half an hour. Urgh. At least he knows his opposites.

He calmed down. I managed to get hold of a mini whiteboard for him to practice writing on, instead of the FOOT HIGH letters he keeps putting in his workbook.

Jack wrote about the Battle of Hastings, cackling like a loon about arrows in eyes. And Jim?
Jim had to multiply fractions. And divide them. With whole numbers. Fractions are bloody stupid. You have to TURN THEM UPSIDE DOWN TO DIVIDE THEM, FOR NO GOOD REASON. Jim's immediate, visceral response on seeing maths is to scream. He cannot help it, it's like his brain is scrabbling to escape his head. This is also my response, although I scream silently.

Could anybody be arsed on Tuesday? No, although I did feel *whisper it* properly better. I even LEFT THE HOUSE to fetch a parcel. I felt more like I was going into battle than going two doors down the road. I washed my hands, left my phone at home in case I forgot and touched it, got Tom to open the door to let me out, held my breath, touched nothing but my parcel and then ran home again to wash my hands and dettol my parcel. And, for the first time in a week, I WORE JEANS AND I DID NOT LIKE IT.

That's gonna be the real challenge when lockdown ends: wearing proper clothes.

Wednesday was a bit better. Jack wrote a whole play about a goblin. Alex named some FRUIT. Jim's new jam is PowerPoints. Gawd, that boy could write PowerPoint displays for a living. On Tuesday, he wrote one about the food of America, and on Wednesday, he wrote a ROAD TRIP THROUGH THE STATES BASED ON WHAT HE WOULD EAT IF HE WENT TO THEM. We started in New England and went all the way to Florida. The kid has a calling: eating until he bursts.

Eggs benedick anyone?

Jim's teacher phoned me on Wednesday, and I bemoaned the sheer wealth of resources without any guidance as to what level I should be getting him to work at. I've been recommended FIVE different maths apps. Only one of them (Times Tables Rockstars) seems pitched at the right level. Prodigy Maths is FANTASTIC, by the way. 

Thursday started like this:

It vaguely improved after we learned a cafe down the road DELIVERS FULL ENGLISH BREAKFASTS, so the kids got sausage sandwiches for lunch and Jack did this thought provoking piece of art based on modern life:

Brought a tear to my eye.

And so to today, my birthday, and nobody can be arsed to do anything. However, Jim has been learning about the presidents this week and this is why we should Vote for Jimmy:

All hail the new leader.

Now go away and enjoy Easter, because it looks very much like this madness is going to run and run...