But it's actually been harder than I expected. Not because of Alex: he's a good feeder and ACTUALLY SLEEPS PRAISE GOD. But because I forgot about feeding newborns and how exhaustingly full on it can feel. So, here's some top tips on establishing breastfeeding that you didn't ask for.
1: Get comfy
It is a lot easier to relax and feed your kid if you're comfortable. First, grab a drink, and your phone. Go to the toilet if you need to: baby won't actually scream himself to death in 60 seconds. If you're not comfortable feeding in front of people, go find a more private space. If you're leaning up in bed, support yourself with pillows. If you're in a chair, sit back and put the telly on. Bring the baby to your boob, rather than your boob to the baby because that way lies stiffness and aching which might just be too much in the postnatal awful. Some babies take 20 minutes to feed, some take 5, some take bloody hours. You don't know how long you're going to be in that position, so start right.
2: Lanolin cream is your new God
Your nipples are not used to being sucked in the vice like grip of a baby's maw, and can get quite sore even from one bad latch. Lanolin cream is safe for the baby to suck, so you don't have to worry about it poisoning him, and it turns nipples bulletproof in days.
3: You don't have to put up with a bad latch
Babies, in their desperate haste to eat yet more milk, will occasionally snap onto your boob wrong. You know it's wrong because you shriek, and then sometimes, you bleed. If you do bleed, by the way, it won't hurt the baby but if the blood is coming from inside your nipple, tell your midwife or HV.
Should the baby latch go awry, pop a finger between baby's mouth and your nipple, and try again. Do not leave the baby latched wrong, however much he squeals in indignation that you've stolen his food. Aim your nipple at the back of his throat, wait for him to tip his head back with his mouth like a baby bird, and shove it in. You won't hurt him. Even at a month old, Alex still needs a bit of a prod to stop him sucking his fist or arm instead of the perfectly good boob millimetres from him.
A good latch might feel a bit uncomfortable and strong, but it shouldn't make you scream. Ask for help if you cant seem to get the hang of it.
4: Engorgement feels like hell, but it is normal.
When your milk comes in, fuck a duck it hurts. It is often accompanied by the three day blues, which make you hate the world and weep over nothing. Giant, rock solid boobs, with fluey symptoms and uselessly unsupportive nursing bras make everything worse. But guess what? It lasts about 24 hours and then it's done. Cold cabbage leaves really do work and so does a warm shower.
You GAVE BIRTH: you can do this.
5: Cluster feeding is also normal
Cluster feeding is how babies tell boobs to make more milk, usually in response to growth spurts. But I have never seen it mentioned in breastfeeding help from official sources, and it nearly drove me to despair with my eldest. Basically, your baby will feed pretty much non-stop for four to six hours, commonly in the evening when you are tired and wanting the baby to get off and let you sleep. It can, however, prompt relatives to ask if you're SURE the baby's getting enough, and suggest that maybe you should stop feeding (see 9 for more on this). It is a recipe for crisis if you're not sure of yourself. But know this my friend, it is normal. Your boobs are amazing at responding to the baby's needs and it only lasts a day or so at a time.
6: Breastfed babies get wind
Some people think they don't. Trust me, they do. You can feel it in their solid little bellies after a feed (normally, there is squidge). Sit them up, let them sick it up a bit and then offer some more if they're still rooting.
7: Don't be afraid to ask for help
Birth can make women feel incredibly insecure and stupid. Midwives can (if you're unlucky) exacerbate this by making it look SOO EASY to feed babies. They come along and force the baby's head on your boob as if by bloody magic, leaving you none the wiser as to how to do it. Then they want to observe you feeding, which is hardly confidence inspiring. Then they give you conflicting advice. So, assert yourself a little. Ask them to slow down and show you properly. Personally, I found the pictorial guide in the NCT booklets better than anything anyone could tell me. If you're worried about anything - bleeding nipples, sicky baby, baby who won't stop crying, baby isn't interested in feeding, baby who never stops feeding, the way you feel - talk to your midwife or health visitor. Remember, they want you to breastfeed too. You're not on your own in this.
8: Eat. Bloody eat! And drink!
You are a milk factory. You cannot make it out of thin air. Eat! Drink!
9: You are allowed to tell people to piss off if they're being shit
If your baby latches, wees and poos and seems happy, then you're doing great. Family, particularly when they haven't breastfed themselves or if it's been ages, can be surprisingly pissy about the choice to breastfeed. THEY WANT TO FEED THE BABY DAMMIT. Well, they can't, and if they could it's not like they're going to come round and do bottles at 2am for you, is it?
If they're really getting you down, suggest they:
- Sit under the baby for two hours while you have a nap/a bath/a leap around the garden because your arms are finally free
- Bath the baby
- Cook you some food and stop being so fucking negative
This also applies any time people decide you are Doing Parenting Wrong because you're doing something they didn't.
10: It's OK not to breastfeed
Fuck knows it doesn't feel like it, but sometimes it just doesn't work, or isn't compatible with the way your life is. And that's OK. The baby needs feeding, you need your sanity, and these are both more important than the method. I was formula fed myself, so I can vouch for its life giving properties, and nearly starved to death first*, so I can also vouch for breastfeeding going wrong having severe consequences. Do what is right for your family.
Here, have some handy links:
* This was due to supply failure. This is a very unusual breastfeeding problem, that your HVs or midwives will pick up on through failure to thrive rather than just thinking the baby's not feeding enough. Don't mistake cluster feeding for not producing enough milk, but do get your baby weighed if you're concerned they're losing weight.
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