Pink or blue?

I've got my anomaly scan in two weeks. This is a scan done to check the major structures of the baby are OK. As a bonus extra, you can often find out the sex of your baby, if you want to and if your baby co-operates.

Background information: I had a terrible second pregnancy, emotionally. In addition to this, my baby had a rare, life-threatening, and undiagnosed cord problem (two true knots) that could have killed him at any point between 10 and 42 weeks. His birth went miraculously well, but left me with some physical problems that have all flared up. I won't bore you with the foul and clinical details, but it means I may not be able to have the birth I want, I may have some problems immediately postnatally, and my emotional state has been extremely brittle, particularly in the last month.

Now, as you know, I already have two sons, and there has been an enormous amount of speculation by people I know well and not so well about whether this baby could be a girl.
But I don't give a shit. I mean, I really could not give a single flying fuck what kind of baby's in there.

It annoys me because these people keep saying "OH IT MUST BE A GIRL" when I tell them how shit I feel. Like that will make up for it. Like having a daughter, which surely I MUST WANT BECAUSE NO WOMAN CAN EVER BE COMPLETE WITH ONLY SONS, makes up for not being properly mobile, not being able to eat properly, being sick, being so tired I could die, not being able to crap properly. Oh, well AS LONG AS IT'S A GIRL, NEVERMIND EH?
I mean, I felt shit when I was having my boys as well, but clearly that has ceased relevance in the unending quest for a female child.

We are going to find out what we're having, but not because WE care or even particularly WANT to know, but because my autistic eldest will find it a lot easier to adapt to if he knows what he's getting. If his sibling has a name, and a gender. If he can help choose things. The Great Unknown bothers him, far more than it bothers us, or my youngest (although my youngest has demanded another brother).

It aggravates me because I know people will feel BAD FOR ME if I'm having another boy, even if they don't say it. And CONGRATULATE me if I'm having a girl, like I sat and sorted through my husband's sperm prior to letting it in.

I don't care. All I want is a healthier pregnancy, to remain pregnant until July, to have a healthy baby, and not to be too savagely injured during the birth. And it is very hard when EVERY SINGLE PERSON I SEE asks if I want a girl, if I think it's a girl, if I'll 'try again' if it's another boy. Like the only possible reason we decided to have a baby is to get a daughter.
I think when you've had a crappy pregnancy, for whatever reason, the goal of a healthy baby becomes far less of a certainty, and more of an anxiety-ridden hope. I wish the only concern I had about this pregnancy was the baby's genitals.

This will be my last baby, unless something awful and not worth considering happens. And this is our CHILD, regardless.
So no. I'm not hoping for a girl. I don't mind whether it's male or female. I just want it to be OK.